Things They Don’t Tell You When They Say “It Gets Better”

When you’re depressed, one of the most common things you hear is that “It gets better.” Which it does. But there’s a lot of things they don’t tell you when someone says that, and they’re things that really need to be heard. So I’m putting them out there, just in case.

One day, you’re going to wake up and not feel like you’d wish you hadn’t. You won’t always feel invincible, but there will be good days and bad days. Eventually, the good ones outnumber the bad. No matter how bad they get, you’re going to have the good ones to get you through. You’re going to be okay, because you are stronger than your depression. When you give up, that’s when depression wins. But it doesn’t have to. You can do this.

Someday, you’re going to have a brother or a sister or a really close friend who has a baby. You’re going to think things like “Babies look like aliens” or “Babies poop and cry and snot on everything.” But you’re going to see this tiny human, so completely vulnerable and fragile. You’re going to see them and realize just how crazy it is that you used to be that tiny and fragile. So hang on, okay? Not for me, but for that tiny, fragile baby. They need you to stick around.

You’re going to see that baby grow slowly over the course of a few months. You’re going to walk in one day and suddenly, the baby’s face will break into a big smile. You will see a tiny person, not so fragile but still not completely independent, and you’re going to see them recognize you. Suddenly, your whole world will change. Because you can’t imagine not seeing that little boy or girl grow into a kid, then a teenager, then a young adult. You’re going to want to be around for it.

There are so many things you’ll want to stick around for. You’ll want to see sunsets and sunrises and taste pizza so good you swear you’re never eating anything else. You’ll want to watch a movie, you’ll want to travel the world. You will still have rough days, you’ll still find yourself wondering if you’re even worth the energy. But then you’ll tell yourself that you are. Because that’s the thing, you are. You’re going to be okay and you’re going to look back on this one day and know you are better, stronger because of it.

Don’t give up. Whatever you do, don’t give up. Because as soon as you do, you’re letting the depression win. You’re missing out on the orange and yellow and pink sunset sky, the smile of a child who recognizes your face and is happy to see you. You’re missing out on seeing what makes people fall in love with life. Trust me, friend, you don’t want to miss out on that.

Stay strong. No matter how alone you feel, no matter how worthless you feel… You matter. You make this world a better place. Don’t take that away, okay? Because I promise, it gets better.

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